12
Through here? It’s like a picture gallery.
It’s… a Victorian panelled corridor, with portraits all along. I wonder what these are of?
The first one is just a big framed sign:
Talking of money, here’s a picture of a bloke counting piles of his.
“An old Victorian man… sneering, is he? I wonder who he is.”
I’m starting to feel this might take longer than expected. I’m not particularly interested in the pictures… do you think I should be?
“But at least it’s not just miles of queues. Last year’s was more like the airport,” says Isobel.
(I need to distract myself from needing the toilet.) That is true, but I’d like a little more Christmassy Fun – let’s have a bit of a drinking game… everyone got a drink? Good.
What about… ummm? Every time you see an elf… have a drink?
No, every time you hear a joke you laugh at…?
“We’d die of thirst!” laughs Isobel – and has to take a drink.
The next portrait is of an old lady… covered in cobwebs? That rings a bell. What was that book?
“Dad. If you look closely, you can see these pictures are all on hidden doors.”
What about every time you meet a mythological creature?
“Dad? Can we concentrate, please?”
Every time you wish you’d gone to the Christmas Market[*] instead?
“Look… the final portrait. It’s a little boy in a damaged top hat… why is he giving the thumbs up?
Tell you what… every time you see something mentioned in The Twelve Days of Christmas, you have to take the relevant number of sips.
Is that okay with the kids here? Yes. Let’s do that, from now on.
“Didn’t you say something about a fuzzy duck last time, Daddy?”
I’m sorry… I still can’t really concentrate on this… I’m so desperate for the loo that I’m crossing my legs.
“Daddy, look: there’s a token hanging from the light fitting. It’s a Christmas tree.”
Well done, Sweetie.
Oops – I dropped the token. I’d better be careful. It makes a nice sound though… a sonorous ringing. Here… why don’t you give it a flick? Isn’t it nice?
Would you try to decide, please? I can’t really think.
Won’t you…? Hopefully, one of these will lead towards the toilets.
[*] Still available on Amazon – why not buy copies for your friends? All profits to charity!