13
Ah – finally! This is it… a smiling Santa on his huge seat; with side seats for the children (very P.C.).
“Ho ho! Come in, come in!” he chuckles. “Take a seat, children.”
Go on… you sit with them and I’ll take a photo.
“Well, then… tell me what you would like for Christmas.”
“A lion please!” with a huge grin.
You can’t have a lion, sweetie.
“A lion…?” says Santa. “Okay. I’ll see what I can do.”
“If Santa says I can, I can.”
In the garden?
“I want a lion in the house… it can wear a nappy.”
How about we adopt a lion? (Or a goat…)
“No, Dad. You’re not listening. I would like to have a lion… please.”
We’ve never even had a cat… what if you’re allergic to cats?
“I’m sure I’m not!”
“Well,” smiles Santa, “I’ll put it on your list… but you’d better have been really good!”
Thank you, Santa.
…An awkward pause…
So… is this when you give her a lion?
No?
“No the gifts are at the end... you remember… you need to collect tokens as you go through the grotto? How many have you got, so far?”
“Ah, okay… then can you give us a token, please?”
“Sorry… I just don’t think you’ve been good enough, on your journey through the grotto.”
Oh… okay. That’s a shame. I wonder how we could have done better?
Which way out?
“You know how it goes… you need to choose one of those doors over there,” he smiles and laughs.
What? Why aren’t we out? Why are there three more doors?
“Yes… it’s another fun choice! Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Goodbye!”
(Was it just me, or did he remind you of Brian Blessed, at the end there?)